"The threat of aliens coming from Mars are a million to one" he said...

Working at Homebase works up a sweat, and how do I combat this? A cool, fizzy Coca Cola. Other than that, a microwaved roast dinner, and a quick sketch. Oh, that and posing for the camera in the lav as I take my pee. Beyond that, all is well.

Welcome Cathy. I wasn't actually expecting to see you on your hands and knees at all, so that statement threw me entirely. I am avoiding the mess myself, but it is difficult because between coke cans and underpants, there is going to be more and more blood as the weeks progress. I still don't know where Sedgewick's tacks were placed....

Website of the day: The Arnhem Research Society

Kitten of the day: Sputnik

Death Scene of the Day: The Nazi soldiers in "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark"

Not-So-Big-Brother note: Peter...are you being sponsored by Coca Cola?

Not So Big Brother Important Announcement!

Lady and gentlemen! The Not-So-Big-Brother doors are now closing! Please remove all extremities, moonies, boots, todgers and other articles from between them as, by the end of this announcement, they will be hermetically sealed and the room will be filled with cyanide.

 

From now on no further applicants need apply.

 

After this point all the contestants must obey the Not-So-Big-Brother rules to avoid eviction.

 

Rule 1) Every contestant must attend the diary room within two days of being summoned by e-mail to do so.

Rule 2) Every contestant must complete the task (to be set presently) within one week and post it accordingly.

Rule 3) Every contestant must post at least one 'blog' of whatever nature to this board per week.

Rule 4) No piddling in the shower room, no gratuitous money shots and no sober postings.

Rule 5) Every contestant must respond within two days when called to nominate the current week's evictees.

Rule 6) I'll be making up when I think of it.

 

Failure to comply with these rules will result in the contestant failing being put up automatically for eviction regardless of the nominations.

 

Organ Morgan...to answer your question...the voting board proper will appear sometime around this Friday. As for who appears on it will be a matter of decision for myself, as no nominations courtesy of the contestants will be expected during the first week.

 

Contestants...please enjoy the snacks provided by the house, because you won't be getting any more.

Anybody still having difficulties with the Blogging please contact me at

scragends@btinternet.com

 

The door is now sealed. Good luck everyone!

 

NOT SO BIG BROTHER ANNOUNCEMENT!

Not So Big Brother would like to welcome Cathy Smith to the board. Cathy is the first woman to enter the contest; an enigmatic female in her early thirties hailing from nobody quite knows where, although it's probably near Luton. In her spare time Cathy likes to collect roadkill, smoke pot and breed gerbils. She is currently employed as a buxom and randy barmaid and feels she's just the person to replace Jade in the Not So Big Brother overweight female stakes.

Welcome to the parlour Cathy...please get used to the toilet seat being left up. (Or, after Morgan's used it, broken.)

Hello, My name is cathy..and I thought it might be fun to join not so big brother.I see there are already a few of you in the house,hopefully we can all get along,without me having to repremand you.I am rather strict on hygene and dont expect to be on my hands and knees all day cleaning up Mr sedgewicks urine splashes from the shower tray....I look forward to talking with you all in more depth.....see you soon.... Hugs.......Cathy

Okay, Sedgers, that's very clever...putting my head into the Coffee Spill cartoon. Well done. We've all had a good laugh. But, you know, being cooped up in this smelly house, stuck in this contest, unable to leave...it makes me think of the life I've left behind in the outside world. I think of all the mornings I've awaken to look into Angelina's eyes, and to hear her tell me that "Mr. Slingblade-What's-His-Name" never made her feel so good. I'm also reminded of that weekend in San Francisco last March, and a chance encounter that led to a threesome with Gillian Anderson and Heather Locklear. Heather wanted to invite Charlie Sheen, but Gillian guessed, very rightly so, that I would be all the man they would need that night...there was no reason to invite "Charlie the John" and all the diseases he's picked up over the years from his prostitute addiction. And when I look at your little cartoon stunt down there, and think of that night with Gillian and Heather, the immense pleasure they received...well, it makes your little joke seem more than a bit off. Like a million miles or so.

And a million miles...that's how far away the real-life world seems right now. Don't worry, Ms. Jolie, Your big cup of coffee will be back as soon as this contest is over. And thinking of that time makes me realize...if anyone was really against me in this game...if they really wanted to see me suffer...how would they best go about it? It dawns on me now that the best way to punish me in this game is to keep me from the outside world, from Angelina and so many other starlets, by voting off all of the other contestants week by week.

O.K. M'Organ, the gloves are off (and I thuoght yo were my friggin' frend!)... "narcissistic" !!? ... think you might take a look in the mirror yourself! Always willing to step up to the looking glass to put myself under rigorous scrutiny, I have done so ... and I LIKE WHAT I SEE!
The chances of voting me off are just so much wishful thinking. I have my hero ♥ George W. Bush's election scrutineers from Florida ready to provide me with whatever result I demand. Eat my jokckes!!