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My holiday resort is available for evictees from the "Not So Big Brother" house wishing to recover from their trauma. Soothing, relaxing massage provided by Briony-Kylie-Narelle the knackerless knickerless head wombat masseuse. Book now, discounts for grope bookings.

The Guns fell silent... it was Christmas...

Well, here I have two offerings to the NSBB Gods... Not one, but TWO!! I can think of many who would not be pleased at my doctoring such photos, but these accurately depict my feelings on the blog so far and I am sure the feelings of all my comrades in arms...

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Also, for your enjoyment in the next week, I will be posting photos of scary SS men and British paratroopers duking it out. Have fun...

It's sunny. I flee for better weather and for chips. Taa taa

Not-So-Big-Brother Response: Strangely reminiscent of life in Fleetwood on pension day!

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Not-So-Big-Brother response: This cartoon reminds of one of S***** L******'s Str*ngebr**d cartoons as well. The one I used to wipe my arse on when I ran out of loo-roll last week. Incidentally, that's good reading material you've got there Sedgwick. Available now at ALL GOOD BOOKSTORES!

While the photo posted below might not be my interpretation of life in the Not-So-Big-Brother house, it is an accurate depiction of the dream I had last night .... does that count?

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CHRISTINE ASHMAN IS CALLED TO THE NOT-SO-BIG-BROTHER DIARY ROOM!

Hello Christine. Since joining the other inmates in the Not-So-Big-Brother house you've been very quiet and reserved. Is this a tactic to gain public sympathy or is just difficult to breath with the amount of testosterone and rancid boxer shorts hanging around the place?

Thank you for asking, Not-So-Big-Brother! It is indeed the fog of puetrid air which arises from the testosterone and rancid boxer shorts. In fact, I am thinking about sending out for a supply of oxygen and some potpourri.

BTW - I was falsely accused of missing the dead line for my entry to the diary room. I was called in on 8-11, today is 8-13

Good night everyone, hope you all have better sleeping weather than we do in New England.

Not-So-Big-Brother: Thank you Christine. Not-So-Big-Brother stands corrected. (M'Organ must be going green with envy.) You are quite right...probably...I should have allowed more time for your Diary Room posting and in future will take such date-line differences into consideration. However, unfortunately, you're still on the Voting Board due to the huge quantity of nominations from the chauvernists amongst the contestants who can't stand the competition. My bet is that you'll survive the vote though because Mr MacLachlan appears to have caught whatever it was that killed Joe King off.

The Not-So-Big-Brother Task of the Week!

This week's task will be for every contestant to draw (preferably...just doctor a photograph if you don't have a scanner but real art will earn you brownie points) your own interpretation of life in the Not-So-Big-Brother house. And that's it!

Don't forget to post all your pictures by next Monday evening (if you haven't got a web site then send your illustration to me instead via e-mail and I'll see what I can do). Failure to do so etc...you know the rest.

In the meantime...

...last week's poems have all been gathered together and placed in the Not-So-Big-Brother ante-chamber where Sedgwick's wombats can't eat them. Click here to read them in relative safety.

Good luck contestants.

NOT-SO-BIG-BROTHER ANNOUNCEMENT!

Okay...the nominations are in and (checks notebook) in no particular order whatsoever, the results are as follows.

Peter Cooper received two nominations. (Actually he nearly received another one after mentioning the dread 'F' word on this blog board...that's right Mr Cooper...I do mean football!)

Kevin 'Spotted Thong' Coffee received one nomination.

Terry 'Wombats R Us' Sedgwick received one nomination.

Paul 'Organ' Morgan (aka the Angel of Death) received fifteen nominations. (Actually he received one but we can all dream.)

Cathy 'hermaphrodite' Smith received two nominations.

Larry 'The Butcher -- lamb chops half price this week' Miller part trois surprisingly received no nominations...proving that evil pays dividends.

Christine 'I just managed to post my poem at the very last minute but still failed to respond to the diary room call within the time limit' Ashman received a staggering four nominations, which just goes to show that you can't sleep on this blog.

Dave 'I seem to have vanished from the face of the earth' MacLachlan received three nominations and, due to the fact that he couldn't be bothered nominating anybody else has automatically been chosen for the VOTING BOARD.

Therefore...this week's potential evictees are the beautiful but overworked and underblogged Christine Ashman and the promisingly started but increasingly absent Dave MacLachlan. Now it's up to the viewers and voting public to decide which one goes and which one stays. The rest of the inmates can rest easy in their hammocks, beds, boxes, sets and mangers for the next seven days...although, of course, failure to meet Diary Room Appointments, complete the set task (details of which will be posted shortly) and nominate when requested will result in automatic placement on Next Week's Voting Board.

In the meantime, Christine and Dave, blog hard and heavy to save your skins because the Voting Board will be uploaded presently and will remain in place until Sunday evening.

Thank you and may God have mercy on your souls.