Community Service Announcement.

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following WARNING labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

I lied this was not a Community Service Announcement, merely a gratuitous, mindless posting ... because I can.