Okay folks...the FINAL VOTING BOARD is up and running. CLICK HERE! to cast your vote and remember...this week you're voting for who you want to win, not for the next person to be evicted. So choose carefully and vote hard!
To guarantee
a free, fair and honest election "Not So Big Brother" has engaged
the services of legendary election consultants Robert
Mugabe, Slobodan Milosevic and Papa Doc Duvalier.
Consequent upon advice from these icons of the democratic process,
the following candidates are offering these outrageous bribes and threats
to bolster their electoral chances.
KEVIN COFFEE.
"An all expenses paid night at my bachelor pad for all who vote for me.
Two nights for those who don't."
CATHY SMITH.
"A lifetime of free calls to my 1-900 "You Know You Want Me Big Boy Tele-Relief Call Centre".
Free access to my Web Cam for every 100th voter."
CHRISTINE ASHMAN.
"A shipping container full of my used crutchless sox to every voter."
PETER COOPER
"Vote for me to receive a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a rifle range test dummy.
Blindfolds and last meal requests from an extensive haute cuisine menu provided."
LARRY MILLER 111
"I'm a man of principle and refuse to get drawn into this tawdry auction for votes.
However fail to vote for me and the next fully ballistic disgruntled postal worker will be given your address."
TERRY SEDGWICK
"Now I shall just rest on my laurels and wait for wave
upon wave of adoring fans to provide me with a well deserved landslide victory.
But to make a monty of it, free bottles of "Sedgwick Wombat Holy Water"
(known to cure piles, the pox and inverted nipples) to every voter and their issue for the next 10 generations."
PAUL MORGAN.
"A plaster casting of m' organ for every voter.
Bonsai afficionadoes get your votes in early and often!"
