NOT-SO-BIG-BROTHER CALCULATES THE NEXT TWO PEOPLE FOR THE VOTING BOARD!

And...by my calculations the results are as follows:

Kevin Coffee...received no nominations, despite a disgraceful smear campaign by Terence bin Sedgwick.

Paul Morgan...received two nominations, which isn't nearly enough.

Christine Ashman...despite last week's attack by the other inmates only received three nominations this week.

Peter Cooper...having been quite possibly the most consistent and polite of the inmates unfortunately received a staggering four nominations.

Larry Miller the third...well, don't ask me why...consult your lawyer, Larry, ask baby Jesus, write a letter to Madame Ermentrude but don't ask me because I don't know what's going on in the minds of these people...received five big fat nominations.

Cathy Smith...regardless of her regular abuse of this board received just one nomination...and...

Terry Sedgwick received nothing...zilch...zero...the big fat 'OH'...though Christ alone knows why.

And so...this week's nominations for eviction are:

Larry Miller the Third and Peter Cooper.

The voting board by can be found for the moment, for anyone eager to get started by clicking here!

The battle between Peter and Larry for survival begins...bazookas Vs the butcher's chopper! Exciting stuff. In the meantime contestants don't forget your weekly assignment.

Thank you and sod off. Not-So-Big-Brother!